In far too many ways, life has suppressed me as of late. The world has left me strung out and tired, exhausted of all the things that I used to define myself by. I traded in writing words of meaning, to scribbling flawed equations. I hung up my guitar and picked up shifts at a part time job. I put my mental health on the line for academics. I feel so conflicted as I write this, because I’m doing just that – writing. It feels void and null and fruitless. As boney as my fingers that ache with starvation, for the wonderful words they used to spin. I used to be a writer, I think. Now, I’m not so sure.
But I did have a moment of enlightenment today, inside the dark confines of my dead-end-part-time job. I was serving a lady and her son, he couldn’t have been more than four. Having a child is already exhausting enough, back to school shopping is even worse I am sure. I noticed the tiredness in her eyes, but of course I didn’t mention it. Her son was cute. Really cute actually. Very quiet and almost seldom. I forgot to ring in one of the items (one of those weird, long erasers that don’t actually do anything) before proceeding to check her out (I’m not incompetent at my job, I’m just tired). The lady quickly returned and mentioned I forgot to ring it in, however, the customer behind her jumped it.
“Just add it to my bill.”
“Oh no, really it’s fine. I can do it.”
“No, just let me pay for it. It’s only an eraser.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you so much, really. Thank you.”
“No problem, dear.”
It really wasn’t a big deal. It was a $1 eraser. But as I watched the exchanged, the way this strangers face lit up while she interacted with the child reminded me of the goodness I had long since stopped believing in. The world isn’t fair. It’s not particularly good either. We can’t change fate, we can’t escape it. Maybe there isn’t such thing as fate at all. Who really knows. But then it dawned on me, the thought resonated to my core because it was such a thought that I had overlooked many times before.
Something along the lines of: a simple act of kindness causes a ripple in the ocean of life that travels forever. Or something.
Because the purity of this deed left me nearly dumbstruck, especially after three droneless hours of asking “Would you like to make a donation to the local back to school drive?” and hearing “No, not today.” made me wonder if people even cared about other people at all. But they do.
The world isn’t inherently good. It’s not a never ending supply of rainbows and sunshines. Humanities greediness often leaves it dry and barren. You always have to give back the good you get. Pass it to someone else. Inspire them to do better. Be better. That’s what I tell myself at least.
Try and do one good thing a day. Not a deed – because it isn’t a chore. It’s a choice. A choice towards leading a more proactive lifestyle and hopefully making someones day a little brighter. It’s a chain reaction. A domino effect. Happiness is infectious and highly contagious. This goodness, if you can believe that it exists or if it’s real, it makes up for the strength you’re not so sure you have.
I have to believe that good exists. Far too many loved ones have lost to the hands of fate and the worlds wicked ways. Nothing is ever in our favour, it would seem. Broken marriages, chronic illness, crippling anxiety and depression, loss of a loved one. I’ve loved someone, or have been the person, who experienced any of the above. But I endured. And I will endure. And the most important thing to do is keep on keeping on.
It’s funny because that’s exactly what the lady who paid for the eraser said. Keep on keeping on. It may not be easy, or fun. But keep on keeping on because maybe someone will put a little good back in your life for you.
So just remember to breathe. You’re where you’re supposed to be.
The Infamous Generation 